Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele is planning an “off the hook” public relations campaign that applies the party’s principles to “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.” ‘Cause Erybody know – we need some tax cuts up in this muthafucka! Ya heard!

So naturally, I wanted to help out. I immediately called MC Steele to suggest that they should call themselves the Notorious G.O.P. … Or, simply - G. Poddy. Then I started busting mad rhymes like:

I’m slangin’ cocaine…

Gots dem capital gains…

(Ca-ca-ca-capital gains!)

Da G O P -

They be feelin’ my pain.

(Fe-fe-fe-feelin’ my pain!)

STOP! Hammer Time!

Everyone knows damn well that drug dealers and pimps don’t pay taxes to begin with… and that’s cool. It’s just bullshit anyways. Ya see, the Republicans (and the Democrats) have given up on the people in the know, because the people in the know are a minority, and at this point they are inconsequential. The days of pandering to the reality-based constituency are over – at this point we can throw Truth™ out the window (as far as politics are concerned) – and basically, say whatever we want. And we can get away with it because people are ignorant. I’m sorry if that hurts – but wake up and smell the coffee.

People’s opinions have always been tainted by disinformation; but in an age of reality TV, where we live vicariously through others, people have started “outsourcing” their opinion forming. It’s easier to let Limbaugh tell you how to feel about an issue than it is to educate yourself and make an informed opinion. So people will, basically, believe any bullshit you tell them – as long as someone they identify with appears to believe it.

Some folks call it marketing… mmm hmmm (in my best Sling Blade voice) - I call it herd mentality. You find your herd in life and you become assimilated. Whether you are a Star Belly, or an emo, you are part of a herd… and the marketers are the shepherds that guide you to the pastures to graze like sheep, each one sure that it is so unique - but, they are all grazing in the same pasture. And though the different herds of sheep graze in different pastures… they are all led there by the shepherds.

So let’s lay this out. You are the sheep, and the marketers are the shepherds… and that just leaves the masters. The masters employee the shepherds, and own the sheep. And if you don’t think *you* are owned… then you will just have to prove me wrong – go ahead… make my day.

Try and step out of line… they’ll round you up. Keep stepping out of line, and they’ll put you down. This is their land, and you are only here to be fleeced. Had you no wool, you would be called nature… unless you were in the way of their plans, then you’d be called extinct. But you do have wool. You have your life and you will spend your life in labor for your owners. And the shepherds will be there to make sure you are kept in the pasture, putting out for the man.

So for all you black sheep out there… There’s a new wannabe shepherd in town.